Sexual and relationship therapy

At Bright Light we understand it can often be difficult to talk about sex and your sex life but we promise a safe confidential place where you can talk to us about anything. It may be that you have a specific sexual difficulty/dysfunction and are being referred to us or you want us talk to us to see if we can help you get the best out of the relationships that are important to you.   

Our therapists are experienced and fully trained in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to help you. It will probably take several sessions of relationship counselling for us all to be able to recognise, understand, and talk about the issues and plan the next steps forward.

Sex addiction -  help for you

Sexual addiction describes any sexual activity that feels 'out of control'. Having a very high sex drive does not make you a sex 'addict'. Neither does engaging in specific sexual activities, having many partners, looking at porn or engaging in cyber-sex.

What is relevant is if you think you are engaging in any sexual activity that you feel you are no longer in control of and that is likely to result in harm to you or others - a partner or partners, or to family or friends. 

Being 'sexually addicted' is not defined by the activity itself but by the possible negative effect it is having on your quality of life - and on people around you.

If you're worried then as a start, see if you recognise the statements below as fitting with how you are feeling. 

  • your behaviour is out of control.

You: 

  • Believe that there may be severe consequences if you continue, but carry on any way.
  • Persistently pursue destructive high risk sexual activities, want to stop but are unable to do so.
  • Need more and more of the sexual activity in order to experience the same level of high followed by feelings of shame and depression.
  • Experience intense mood swings around repeated sexual activity.
  • Spend more and more time planning, engaging in or regretting and recovering from sexual activities.
  • Neglect social or work commitments in favour of the sexual activity.
  • Repeatedly try to stop and perhaps stay stopped for a while, only to start up again.

Some or none of the above may fit with how you are feeling about what you do, but the important thing is to talk to us if you're worried. Our therapists will offer support in a safe confidential environment to help you recognise which activities are causing you and others problems. We will carefully assess your individual needs and how we can meet them, often through lots of discussion because we understand that this is a complex issue where many other factors could contribute to your experience. 

Sex addiction -  help for your partner

If you're worried about your partner, you can talk to us in complete confidence. We can help you alone or as a couple, to explore your feelings and out of control activities and look at how its impacting on your relationship. We will support each of you to find a positive way forward - that you are in control of and gets the best out of your relationships.

 

There are two leaflets available: